I wonder why people think I’m just faking this sadness although I’m not. Did you ever cry when you’re about to sleep because your head is screaming at you and you just can’t seem to lower down the volume and just hear the real world instead? I did. Did you ever cry on the way home from school because you know you’ll never be good enough and just being with everyone hurts you? I did. Did you ever cry in the morning the first thing you did after waking up because you felt like someone who shares the same room with you wants you to be just gone already? I did. Did you ever cry suddenly because you don’t really know what’s the point of the life you’re living in? I did. Did you ever cry because you know you’re the only reason why you’re sad but you just can’t seem to stop yourself from doing so? I did. Did you ever choke on your cry because you’re trying not to cry but in reality, it really hurts so bad and you just want to die? I did. Do you ever feel like a waste of space? I do, every fucking time. The harder i try to be happy, the sadder I become. And it sucks. It sucks so bad because I’m doing my best and just…. even in recovering, i’m not good enough.
Please make everything stop. Because it really hurts.