Today went well. Not quite well though. It was in between sad and happy. This morning someone told me I was fat. Sinking deeper into my insecurities, another anchor has been tied down on my feet, on my soul again. Every night, I pray to God, all the gods, all the stars in the sky, all the heavenly bodies that exist, and to the moon, that soon, I can detach all these insecurities I have out of myself. I don’t want to sink deeper into this lugubrious ocean of mine, all because of me. I also discovered something today, in which I decided will not be written in this post, might be written in the other posts but the possibility is zero-to-three. All of I have to say is you shouldn’t let others destroy you whereas in the end you are the only who’s gonna be there for yourself.

      On the other side, today was quite well because we get to know the ranking for this quarter. Despite all the procrastination and all the cramming I did, I was still the first. I thank God because without Him any of this will not be possible. After all this drama that I had for the past few months, I’m glad that my faith has restored me. Even though I’m still in recovery and still haven’t fully recovered, I am learning my way back to the blithe life. And well, I’m slowly having erudition that my batch mates are not that abominable. Everyone has a good side and so a bad side. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, expecting everyone to be perfect just like how I’m treating myself. I should really give it off. Stop the perfectionist life and just, enjoy. Some might have expectations on me to be always perfect and tell me to do this and that, but then I have stopped being a marionette of people. My family never expected anything for me. It was just me and some of the people around me that I’m still contemplating if they’re worth to be around with or not.

     Nevertheless, I’m purely blessed to be still alive notwithstanding all the tragic happenings the typhoon has brought in my country. I posit that these things have happened to us because God knows that we’ll overcome it. Furthermore, I’m grateful that one of my teachers’ family has been contacted. This day, truly is a blessing, not only for me, but along with the existent up until to this day.

Just keep the faith, because God will never leave our side.

xoxo, C.B.