tsunami cries
I sit before flowers hoping they will train me in the art of opening up. I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me to let go. I know nothing but I am here to learn. - Shane Koyczan
Even before the sun rose and the different hues of the sky appear, I already feel shitty. Right before waking up the only thought I had in mind is that why do I always get the tomorrows I dread every single night? God is too good for me, He still gives me chances notwithstanding all this thoughts. Nevertheless, I don’t know what to feel - feel happy or angry because he came right behind me this morning and I just hate it because all the moving on hard work is slowly vanishing because of that single movement. And now, I’m receiving so much hate from people I really did nothing. Except tell one person that she’s faking her sadness. Maybe we couldn’t really tell if one’s sad because we don’t clearly know what’s going on in their lives. But looking into someone’s mind, soul and heart is enough for me already. Why do people want the attention they won’t have? If they hate me, they could go on and hate me forever because I couldn’t care less anymore. I’m done with shitty people. I don’t need any shits anymore.
Lesson today for everyone because I had a great day despite having to be with the people I hate: Act like you trust someone, but never do.
On the other side of the day, I read a book which I borrowed from a friend which gave me unicorns, butterflies and thousands of rainbows in my stomach. Thank you for being there for me today, we’ll make it through this recovery. You know who you are.
I’m sending all my wishes to Paul Walker and his driver who died with him. You’ll never be forgotten.